Men:

It's your fucki​ng job to kill the spide​rs and cockr​oache​s that excee​d one inch in lengt​h or diame​ter.​If you leave​ it up to me, I will throw​ the close​st thing​ in reach​,​ and the conse​quenc​es to wall,​ floor​,​ or ceili​ng be damne​d.

​ If you find a spide​r in with you while​ you'​re showe​ring,​ you kill the spide​r befor​e exiti​ng said showe​r stall​.​ It's your duty.​ this is non-​negot​iable​.​ You do not leave​ it for your girlf​riend​ to find 8 hours​ later​ when she comes​ home exhau​sted from work.​

Ladie ​s,​ if your men negle​ct to do their​ spide​r-​slayi​ng dutie​s,​ you can alway​s douse​ it in Head and Shoul​ders and slow it down long enoug​h to drop the full 40oz bottl​e right​ on it's fuzzy​ fucki​ng head.​ Other​wise they'​re hard as hell to aim at, and who knows​ how many bottl​es,​ vases​,​ and shoes​ you'​ll have to throw​.​

Freedom.

What is the fucked mental pattern of a man or woman who decides that killing their child--murdering them-- is a desirable alternative to giving it up for adoption or foster care? If I read one more article in the news about some ignorant idiot sicko murdering their baby because *they don't want to pay child support or *god told them to do it, I might really lose it. Do they really think that's the only option? Is it an excuse to kill? Do they derive sick pleasure from the rush? Why, why are you doing this? It's this kind of bullshit that fuels extreme points of view. Reading these articles, I really start to believe that people should have to take classes and become certified before they're allowed to use their genitals for reproduction. Maybe we should all be force-fed contraceptives until we can learn to handle human reproduction, and respect the process and all that it entails. Government funded castration, anyone?

What really consumes me, what burns me to the ground, is what Americans do with their freedom. In America, we're all free. Free to have as many children as we can fuck into creation, whether we can feed and care for them or not. Free to buy our way closer to death with every slow burning cigarette. Free to gorge ourselves to the point of obesity on poisonous edibles, which we are free to market to each other using carefully crafted lies. Why are these the freedoms you embrace? Is that all freedom means to you? The freedom to fuck up as badly as you want? The freedom to squander your life? Is that really what you're fighting for?

I cry to think what this country could have been, what it was visualized to be by its founders—and what it has become, what it is becoming. So many nations have been able to preserve their culture, their origins, their ideals about society….how did America fall so hard, so fast? What can be done to repair it? Well, unfortunately for America, Americans are all free to not give a flying fuck about their homeland. Free to ignore the truth, free to not do a damn thing.

I expect better from myself.

I expect better from you.

Every single one of you.

I'm full of them, folks.

You are rather absent

When I find I need you worst

I try to not be selfish,

and put your needs before mine first

But it won’t do much to stem the tears

With hands and heart bereft

And when friends cannot be friends today

What comfort have I left?

Almost....allllmost....fuck. Lost it.

At first I thought I was going to write about what a fucking joke of a circus the media is…but I don’t have the emotional capacity to channel that kind of rage right now. I’m an exceptionally gentle person to be so full of anger. I have been told I am too easily roused, but I stand firm by that there are too few who are. Sometimes it takes some really pissed off people to make positive change. There is motivation for good in anger; you just need to be strong enough to harness it. And you know what? You are.

In other news, the Lawn guys just trimmed the bushes in front of our office and I now have 15% more light flooding in my fucking eyes. It has wilted my already-feeble creative erection like a swift kick.

You’ve dodged a bullet, I might have gotten all new-agey on your ass(s).

This falls neatly under the "don't get me started" category.

This is one of my more angrier entries, originally posted on Myspace back in April of 08.

http://www. cnn. com/2008/HEALTH/diet. fitness/04/15/cl. milk/index. html

This shit makes me so goddamn angry I could VOMIT.

What the fuck is wrong with Americans that they think they NEED another animals breast milk to survive?? Do you honestly believe that lactation from a cow is necessary to human survival? Are you fucking kidding me?

You want to know what that is? It’s the USDA and its affiliates freaking out that people are cutting back the purchases on their product in droves, for plenty of good reasons too. Hormones are not even half of the things wrong with the milk we drink, and it is far more unhealthy and fattening (skim or not!) than it is beneficial. All the nutrients in milk that this so called “food pyramid” says we need can be found in non-animal products. It is absolutely ludicrous to believe that without nutrients intended for newborn calves (NOT HUMANS) we would simply wither and die, or else leave irreparably unhealthy lives.

Never forget that the USDA is a BUSINESS, and they’re number one priority is not your health-- it is profit.

If the United States government was so concerned about your health and what we put in our bodies, do you think America would be the most unhealthy and obese nation in the world? Don’t give me that “freedom of choice” bullshit either, our government should not even be giving us the option of destroying ourselves via chemically altered and completely nutrient deficient garbage, while simultaneously failing to provide it’s people with proper information about what we’re actually consuming. It’s bad enough that they present us with this poison they try to pass off as food, but to lie and mislead it’s people, and not even give them the chance to make their own choices? It’s fucked up. Truly. If you research it, you’ll find that very few countries in the world even consume milk at all, from any animal. It is absurd to drink bovine breast milk!! Can you believe so many Americans have been absolutely convinced that they need it? Think about it, people. There are lots of nutrients in human breast milk too, meant for helping babies grow, can you imagine pumping humans for your cereal in the morning, or baking some nice sweet human juice into your birthday cake? No? THEN WHY IS A COW ANY DIFFERENT?! And if that human juice had been pumped from infected oozing nipples, from a body coursing with hormones and antibiotics? That’s crazy right? So why do we continue to chug cows milk like it is our existence depends on it? Give me a break.

Remember, it’s all a business. Your health is not Priority Number One--turning a buck is. And they won’t shape up, up the standards, or clean up their acts until they get caught doing something blatantly unhealthy or stupid and then someone can actually prove it (before it gets covered up or swept under the rug). They will get away with feeding you whatever they can for as long as they can, because there is gooood money when you bank on someone’s ignorant taste buds.

Know what you’re putting in your body, and educate yourself for christ’s sake. America might give you the freedom to be a complete fucking jackass, but please, try to rise above it if you can.

Okay, it's a song lyric, I cheated.

It asked me for a title and I froze. There is this Aimee Mann song--not even one of my favorites, but the lyrics are brilliant to me. It asked me for the title, and my brain blurted that one out. Lyrically, the whole song is fantastic, but there is a specific line that I have identified with since the moment I heard it:

"I know now which is which, and what angle I ought to look at it from

I suppose I should be happy to be misread--

Better be that than some of the other things I have become."

Here's what you can expect from me: Mostly angry rants, peppered with hopefully more sentimental musings. I am going to retro-post a lot of what I have typed before, mostly because I think, although it's rough, it's good. There's going to be a lot of profanity. Sometimes I can be what is technically known as "a little much". I am the most belligerent and simultaneously sensitive person you may ever meet. I can be crass, but I mean well. When it comes to subjects I am passionate about, I am easily fired up.

I know plenty of other words I could use in lieu of shit, fuck, cunt, goddamn sonuvabitch-- but let's face it, they're not nearly as satisfying.